November-December 2011, Featured Articles, Columns

Working Muslimah Column: Managing Your Career?

By Umm Salihah ( Deputy editor)   Fri, Dec 02, 2011

These included writing a journal of your experiences so that you have space to reflect and learn and planning your career on a chart, knowing where you want to be in the coming years and what you have to do to get there: gaining qualifications, developing soft skills and moving sideways in your career rather than up to get experience. Overall it was a useful seminar, with some good advice that I am working to implement.

I liked that Dr Mughal addressed the fact that Muslims often feel that being successful or wealthy is contradictory to being a good Muslim in some way and that we should view being successful in our work and business as part of being a good Muslim. He quoted an ayah I
particularly love:

"And when the prayer has been concluded, disperse within the land and seek from the bounty of Allah, and remember Allah often that you may succeed." (Al-Quran 62:10)

At the end of the session, there were some questions left in my mind. One of the big things which I have had to grapple with as a working Muslimah mother has been not so much progressing my career but giving myself permission to do this. The prevalent attitude I have come across amongst Muslims is that a women should not work and a Muslim mother certainly should not work.

I have mainly reconciled myself with this issue. I have the right to work, I do not neglect my children and that is an end to the matter. The only matter that remains outstanding is the one of working with non-Mahrams. My hijab and abayah set up an adequate boundary for non-Mahrams and I often see very clearly how I am treated differently from other women – with more respect and with higher expectations regarding my behaviour. I don’t feel I can wear niqab at work (although I have seen a sister here and previously in the civil service who do so) and I am not convinced that leaving work would give me the courage to wear it anyway.

The point is that although Dr Mughal’s advice was useful and I benefitted from hearing about his experience, there are other things we need to deal with before we can come close to really being able to get the most from it.

One of these is feeling positive about the work we do – most working Muslimah’s I know do not earn so that they can spend on luxurious clothes and holidays (they are amongst the most frugal women I know), their earnings go not just towards taking care of their families, but helping extended family and other people in their communities.

Another issue is guilt. Working mothers can carry an immense amount of guilt around with them not realising that actually all mothers (Muslim and non-Muslim, working and stay-at-home) have to live with the guilt that comes from an unrealistic ideal that has been created around motherhood. Mothers are assaulted with a massive amount of information about what they should or should not do – pretty much all of it contradictory and with the implication that if we omit any of this giant to-do list our children will be damaged for life. No pressure there then.

But in developing our careers or our businesses we have to step away from this damaging and restrictive sense of guilt first.
As Muslimah’s our priority will always be first and foremost our children, there is no doubt over that. This means that our career or business choices have an added dimension – does this suit my family? This means foregoing promotion opportunities due to longer hours, it means putting your career on hold for periods, it means staying in jobs that are more family-friendly but perhaps not conducive to progression or personal development.

Perhaps this being the case, Dr Mughal’s advice about planning your career or business development is all the more apt. Marriage, motherhood, extended families, milestones are all a part of a Muslimah’s life, perhaps then this variable should be a part of our plan rather than obstacles on it?

Certainly his idea of journaling your experiences hold value for me. I started blogging because I did not know any working Muslim women with children who were going through the things I was experiencing. Through blogging I met numerous women who understood what I had experienced – the guilt and criticism, fitting prayer into your routine, keeping it halal in the workplace (avoiding handshakes, pub lunches and anything to do with Christmas). I also met a few who completely disagreed with the fact that I worked when I had children, they certainly made me think. This process of sharing my experience has been very enriching for me.

By Umm Salihah ( Deputy editor)

Hi, I’m Umm Salihah and I am mum to three dirty-faced angels (Little Lady - 7, Little Man - 5, Gorgeous - 3 years).  I write for www.happymuslimah.com which I began in order to share my experiences as a Muslimah working mother and to learn from other sisters about how they manage the different aspects of their lives without compromising their faith.  I also blog at www.positivemuslimah.com because I believe we need to share more of our positive stories.

I read Psychology at university and then went on to work for the public sector for the next 10 years, first in central government and now in local government because I wanted to contribute to the community I had grown up in insh’Allah.  My passions include crafts (cards, banners and jewellery), books, bargain-hunting, writing, dawah and the English countryside.

You can contact me at umm_salihah@yahoo.co.uk

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